


Kill Me

by soxos



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Blood, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kissing, M/M, Masochism, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Sex Talk, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 08:31:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19373032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soxos/pseuds/soxos
Summary: Life is not easy when your boyfriend has a death wish.





	Kill Me

**Author's Note:**

> Here's something short and edgy just because. 
> 
> Warnings for... I don't even know. Death fetish? Choking, drowning, stabbing and general violence? I'm at a loss. Proceed at your own risk.

 "What kind of things do you like?" 

Hinata shrugged, taking a sip of his scalding hot coffee, scowling when it nearly burnt his tongue. He blinked a few times to chase away the shock and then he set the ceramic cup down, carefully, not wanting to spill the coffee all over himself by accident. Things like that sometimes happened whenever Komaeda was nearby, and he had learned his lesson a long time ago. 

"What exactly do you mean?" 

"Sexually."

He nearly choked on his saliva, and suddenly he was almost twice as glad that he set the cup down, because this would definitely cause him to drop it.

"I feel like we just had this conversation recently," he muttered once he overcame the initial shock. It was too early for this type of conversation. 

"You didn't really tell me anything," Komaeda gave him a small smile, "everyone likes  _kisses_ , Hajime." 

"I don't know about  _everyone_..." 

"There must be something," the other boy pressed, pretending to be deep in thought. "There's no way you're  _that_  boring," he added, smirking a little. Hinata knew he was just trying to provoke him, but it still grated his nerves. 

"Maybe I am. Why do you care?"

"I'm really curious," Komaeda answered, and he sounded honest for once, "and I want to please you." 

"Is that what this is about? Believe me, you have nothing to worry about. You please me just fine."

"Just fine?"

"You know what I mean," Hinata sighed, reaching for the teaspoon and slowly stirring his coffee in an attempt to cool it down. He wasn't in the mood to argue again. Their arguments seemed to be about nothing lately as well, and it was exhausting. "I don't know what you expect me to say. Our sex life is fine. Is there something you would like to do? Is that what this is about?" 

Komaeda looked at him blankly, his eyes clouded over in a strange way, and Hinata knew he hit the nail on the head, but he also knew that maybe, just  _maybe_ , he should have kept silent. He lowered his gaze and  gripped the teaspoon even harder. Maybe he could drink his coffee quickly and then just leave, and spend the rest of his day alone - it wouldn't be the first time.

"I...," Komaeda's voice was even more hoarse than usual. He was clearly struggling to get the words out. "Something like that." 

" _Really_? Are you bored of me or something?" 

"Maybe I am," Komaeda repeated Hinata's earlier words in a mocking manner. He tilted his head, his white curls bouncing in an almost hypnotizing way. "There are things I'd like you to do." 

Hinata rolled his eyes. "I'm almost too afraid to ask."

"You should be," Komaeda wrapped his arms around himself - a creepy gesture of his - and smiled widely. His breathing got uneven as well, and Hinata instantly knew it was going to be one of  _these_  days. He closed his eyes and listened to the quiet clinking of the spoon as it hit the walls of the mug, trying to concentrate on anything but - 

"You should hurt me," voice wavering, sharp intakes of breath, "really, really hurt me. I deserve it, after all."

"Well, I don't want to," Hinata argued, his own voice barely audible. He couldn't do this today. He couldn't do this at all.

But Komaeda's mind was already gone. "I deserve it," he repeated, "and I would love it, so what's the problem?" 

Hinata stayed silent. There was nothing he could say that would convince his boyfriend - not when he got like this. 

"Next time you fuck me," Komaeda continued, "you should wrap your hands around my neck and squeeze - really hard - and not let go until the light fades away from my eyes. I want you to see it, I want you to feel me getting tight around you as I struggle to breathe, and  -"

"Yeah, I'm not gonna do that." 

"You're right, strangling is too merciful for me, isn't it? I deserve much, much worse. Maybe you could fill the bathtub with water, bend me over the edge and hold my head underwater for as long as you want. I've heard it hurts - it's nothing like strangulation, apparently - you struggle not to breathe until you can't take it anymore and inhale, water filling your lungs and you can't cough to get the water out and it hurts so badly. I'd probably trash around like crazy... but you are pretty strong, aren't you? You'd keep me steady, wouldn't you?"

Komaeda's mind sometimes shattered like fragile glass. Hinata was tired of trying to pick up the pieces. He was tired, but he tried anyway. He knew too well what the feeling of inferiority could do to someone, and he wasn't completely heartless - just exhausted of trying to fix something so broken. 

Komaeda slowly got up and walked towards the kitchen counter. They both made a habit out of hanging out in the old building's kitchen during mornings, since they both liked their privacy, but it definitely had its disadvantages - like now, when Komaeda was reaching towards the chef's knife. 

Hinata swiftly got up, but it was too late. Komaeda was already holding the knife's handle in his palm, closely examining the blade. 

"Maybe you'd want to cut me up?" He rambled on, seemingly not even remotely aware of his surroundings. "Take this knife and shove it deep inside of me, slice me open, make me bleed. Wouldn't you like that, Hajime? Wouldn't you like to stab me over and over? Aren't you angry with me? Wouldn't you want to tear me open after all I did to you?" 

"No." 

"Huh?"

"I'm not gonna play your little fucked up game, Nagito," Hinata said, firmly gripping the edge of the table. His coffee was long cold and forgotten. "I don't hate you. I don't want to hurt you. And I sure as fuck won't assist your suicide." 

Silence.

Painful, long, silence, in which Komaeda's expression became almost painful to look at. His lips were shaking, and he looked as if he was about to cry for a second, before letting out a quiet sigh and setting the knife down. 

"I might just do it myself, you know. It can't be that difficult. I did it once before." 

"I won't let you die," Hinata persisted, "and I won't let you hurt yourself. Not this time."

"Isn't that a little selfish? Keeping me here against my will?"

Hinata gritted his teeth. It felt as if his nerves were about to snap at any second, and he wanted to yell and scream and slam his fists against the hard surface of the desk until he'd start bleeding, but he couldn't lose control. He couldn't go down the same route as Komaeda, that would just make things worse. 

"Why do you even want to die that badly?" 

Komaeda looked at him with a strange look in his eyes. Hinata couldn't read him that well, especially in moments like this. "Don't you already know?"

"To become a stepping stone for hope, blah, blah, blah, yeah, I know, but that's not how it works," Hinata argued, shaking slightly, "this isn't the killing game, your death would be pointless and it would only bring despair." 

"I didn't think you'd be so delusional."  

"You're the delusional one!" 

Komaeda wrapped his arms around himself, desperately clutching at the fabric of his jacket, pulling at it in a seeming attempt to calm himself down. His breathing increased and Hinata could hear that horrible, sickly sound that seemed to come from deep within Komaeda's lungs, scratchy and wheezy and terrifying. 

"I'm sorry," Hinata quickly apologized, "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"You should yell at me more," Komaeda whispered between heavy breaths, and Hinata wanted to cover his ears just so he could escape that sound, but he resisted the urge. "Insult me. Hit me. Anything. Anything, and I'll stop." 

Hinata clenched his fists, realizing that it was too late. Even if he didn't want to, he fell right into Komaeda's trap and now he was roped into his twisted game, even after he took all the possible precautionary measures. Even if he tried to be careful, he still fell for it. 

"Don't make me do this."

"I'm not making you do anything," Komaeda shot him a hollow smile, "it's a simple request." 

Hinata thought of running away. Just turning around and sprinting out of the building, forgetting this whole exchange. But then he saw the expression on the other's face - he was clearly desperate, sweat already forming at his forehead as he bit his lip way too hard. He couldn't abandon him like this. It wouldn't be right.

He sighed, feeling really weak all of a sudden. 

Then he slowly walked closer. 

"Alright," his voice was shaking as he approached the mess of a boy in front of him, "okay." 

"Really?" Komaeda sounded really hopeful in that moment, and it was such a drastic change from before that it almost calmed Hinata down. He could do this. He'd just get it over with. He'd give in and do what the other wants - but he'd do it on his own terms. 

He nodded, and then grabbed Komaeda by the waist - so quickly that the other couldn't even react properly as he crashed their lips together, hard and rough. He gripped him tighter when their teeth accidentally clashed, only to keep him in place, and then he slammed him against the kitchen counter. He kept him trapped as he continued their violent kiss - until he felt him moaning into his mouth, finally reciprocating. 

He had him where he wanted to - calmed down and putty in his hands. He broke the kiss and opened his eyes, staring at Komaeda's flushed face - and then he kissed him again before either of them had the chance to regain their breath. He was gentler this time, slower. Once he felt Komaeda kissing him back in full force, he caught his bottom lip inbetween his teeth and pulled - and then bit down hard. 

Komaeda yelped and turned his head to the side. He brought his hand towards his face and touched the injured area, visibly flinching. "Ah..." 

"Good enough for you?" 

Komaeda looked at him, and there was something gratifying in seeing him taken completely off guard. He was like a deer in the headlights, staring at him with wide eyes and covering his mouth with his palm. 

"Show me," Hinata ordered, grabbing Komaeda's wrist and gently pulling it away from his face, then wincing as soon as he saw the red smear on his palm and chin. "I'm sorry, I don't know what-"

"It's fine," Komaeda said, and then his lips stretched into a wide smile, causing more blood to pour out, "it's more than fine. You can be pretty wild sometimes, Hajime." 

Hinata sighed. Out of all the outcomes, this was the least horrifying one. 

"I'll go get some tissues," he announced, averting his eyes from the hideous display in front of him. "Wait here. Don't do anything stupid." 

"Of course," Komaeda nodded, still smiling in that creepy way of his. Hinata turned around and quickly ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him. 

Komaeda watched him with wistful eyes, wondering if now would be a good time to feel remorse, but the pain in his lip was too urgent and too good and he didn't feel sorry at all. Blood started to drip down onto his white shirt, staining the fabric with ugly, crimson splatters. 

He noticed the knife that he left on the counter earlier. 

_Well,_ he thought as he put it back into the knife block,  _maybe some other time._


End file.
